What’s been happening…
/Th Hot Young Widow’s Club
Very often when I walk and I’m not in the mood to listen to music I find TED talks that interest me. One day I happened upon The Hot Young Widows Club. While I am not young, hot, or a widow I was curious about how this young woman was surviving the death of her young husband to brain cancer. Her talk cut to the core of grief with the perfect combination of humor, honesty and profound sadness. I laughed and cried - both welcomed emotions for that particular day. This remarkable storyteller also described what it meant for her to move on and remarry with the spiritual presence of her late husband. I remember listening to it more than once as I walked that afternoon.
A few months later John mentioned that he had heard from a high school classmate, who now lives in Minneapolis, suggesting that we attend a book talk at Barnes and Noble featuring his new daughter-in-law. Not knowing anything about her but always wanting to support new authors we went. As we entered the Westside Barnes and Noble, the first thing I see is a stack of her books, “The Hot Young Widow’s Club” by Nora McInerny. It was the woman from the TED talk! There was a large audience, mostly made up of young women who sadly, had become widows. As she talked and read excerpts from her book, just as in her TED talk she described her grief journey with a combination of wit, and painful honesty. Again I laughed and cried. She described what it meant for her to move ahead, live her life and remarry (ironically to John’s classmate’s son). We bought several copies of her book and as we approached the table to have her autograph them, she looked up at John and said, “You are my father-in-law’s high school friend!” In person she was as warm, friendly and funny as she sounded so many weeks earlier. I highly recommend her book! One thing that she said that will remain with me always (I’m paraphrasing) … One never “moves on” or “moves through” the loss of someone so deeply loved … we live and move forward… “ with it”.
Light the Night in Milwaukee
Last month John and I participated in the Leukemia-Lymphoma Society of Wisconsin’s Light the Night in Milwaukee. We had walked the first Light the Night event in Baltimore with Katie in the fall of 2015 and have walked every year since in Madison. This year given a scheduling conflict and the suggestion from the LLS director, Liz Klug (I had recently met with her) we decided to join the Milwaukee event – it was beautiful.
Emily Baseheart (one of Katie’s close friends), her husband Josh, their darling little daughters and two of their good friends, Barb and Nikki joined us. Barb and Nikki had recently lost their young niece/cousin, Lexie to breast cancer. Lexie had worked for the leukemia lymphoma society creating connections for all of us to this organization.
The walk took place on a lovely cool, clear fall evening at the Milwaukee lakefront – the route that I took too many times to count when Katie was a student at UW-M. As we picked up our “gold lantern” to signify a loved one who had not survived leukemia, I was struck by the hundreds of people displaying “white lanterns” for people who have survived, and the “red lanterns” for those who support others who are battling this disease. (How I wished I could carry a different colored lantern.) Walking along the lakeshore in view of the beautiful Milwaukee skyline, I was comforted by the hundreds of people walking along with me. Holding my gold lantern, wrapped in Katie memories, and feeling so supported by John and friends, it was good. I thought back to those earlier Light the Night Walks – especially the one in Baltimore - and realized I am healing – slowly – but I am healing.
A very special thank you to Emily, Josh and their friends for walking with us. We love you.
Self-Care – A Winter Retreat in Door County
Something that Katie and I talked a lot about was “self care”. Neither of us was very good at it. This past September I came upon a one-day wellness retreat for women held at a place called “The Clearing” in Door County. I felt a strong pull to register (I’m always thinking it’s Katie’s loving spirit when things like this happen) It turned out to be a truly enlightening day facilitated by two remarkable women. I left with a quiet sense of well-being. It really was good.
At the end of the day all who had attended said the only negative was that it was too short. Given our urging, they are holding another retreat in late January in Door County. (Yes, it will probably be cold but so beautiful!) It will begin Friday evening January 24th and end by 11:00 am on Sunday, January 26th. If you think you may be interested contact me. Space is very limited. We Believe in Katie, Inc. is a sponsor.
4th Annual “Katie’s Birthday Benefit: Celebrating Katie and the Arts”
I have exciting news about our spring benefit! Katie loved the arts – especially musical theater. Given this love and our desire to support local theater arts the Verona Area Community Theater has agreed to join us this spring for our annual Benefit. VACT will feature ensemble performances from past musicals. We are still in the very early planning stages but it promises to be great time! So please mark your calendars for this family-friendly event, Saturday, May 2nd at the Alliant Energy Center in Madison. I will keep you informed as our plans evolve! And, as always, would welcome any help!
One Last note…
One day last summer when I was with my 7-year-old granddaughter Genevieve, “Auntie” Katie came up in our conversation. As we talked, Genevieve looked up at me with her beautiful, questioning, blue eyes, and said, “Grandma, does it make you feel worse or better when you talk about Auntie Katie?” Her sensitive, honest question so touched me… with a feeling of joy in my heart that she would ask, and tears in my eyes I responded, “Better, always better”.
Until next time… Susan